Open Response to Uri Pilichowski's Post About Charedim on Vacation

First the full text of Uri's post:

Hard Guests to Welcome. I want to preface this post by explaining that this isn’t an educational post but rather a cry and plea from my heart. I don’t know if it will reach its intended audience, but I know a diverse audience read my posts, including members of the Haredi community. I hope they read this, and that it is translated by others into Hebrew and Yiddish. I am well aware that I do not agree with the Haredi community on the issue of serving in the army. I also recognize that when younger I also decided to study Torah instead of serving in the army. I don’t consider my lack of Israeli citizenship at the time as an exemption from serving. The IDF is a Jewish army and in retrospect, as a Jew I should have served. By the time I realized my mistake, I was too old, too fat, and had too many kids to serve. The IDF rejected me three times. I have no right to lecture others about their responsibility to serve in the army. I am also aware that disagreements, even significant ones, should not divide us as a people. I love Haredim as I do every other Jew. I appreciate their contribution to the Torah world and the social services they provide to all sectors of the nation. This land was given by God to all Jews, not just the ones we agree with or enjoy their company. As a democracy, the Jewish state serves all its citizens, even those many consider derelict in their responsibilities to defend the nation. The challenge I’ve been facing is local to my town in Mitzpe Yericho. The Haredi community’s calendar is set on the academic calendar of the Yeshivot. This means there are three long vacations a year, three weeks post Yom Kippur, the entire month surrounding Passover, and three weeks in the summer post Tisha B’av. During these ten weeks of annual vacation, all Haredi men and most Haredi women tour the country, enjoying their vacations. As an easily accessible town close to Jerusalem, Mitzpe Yericho is a popular destination for Haredim on vacation to visit and rent “tzimmers” (essentially Airbnb’s). Haredim in the thousands come and bbq, hike, and pray in our town and Synagogues. Our community has always warmly welcomed vacationing Haredim and set aside areas of the town where vacationing visitors can bbq and spend time without interrupting the residents of the town. My challenge in welcoming the Haredi visitors is recent and isn’t a sentiment I’ve heard expressed by many in our town. Since October 7th the men (and some women) of Mitzpe Yericho have served numerous tours of duty in the reserves. They’ve served in Mitzpe Yericho itself, in Gaza, Lebanon, and other places that aren’t mentioned. We have lost residents in the war. We have new widows, orphans, parents without children, and siblings who have lost their brothers. Our elementary school does not have a grade without a child reciting Kadish or have lost a close family member. We have suffered greatly and I am crying as I write these words. It is painful to ride the public bus to our town with widows, orphans, and lone siblings, while sharing seats with joyful Haredim on vacation who have not played their part. Our hearts are ripped apart and we’re forced to watch as a community untouched by loss by choice simply enjoys life as if nothing is wrong in the nation. I find the Haredim on vacation enjoying themselves visiting communities filled with loss incredibly insensitive. I find their laughter and joy cruel. There are several mitzvos, from not causing pain with words, to not mentioning idolatry and past actions to converts, or mentioning past sins to someone who has repented from their sins, that charge Jews with being overly sensitive to the vulnerable among our community. My plea to the Haredi community is that if you refuse to serve in the army, that is your decision, but please be sensitive to the communities who defend you and have lost fathers, sons, husbands, brothers, cousins, mothers, daughters, and sisters. Don’t flaunt your vacations and fun to communities suffering in mourning. Spend your vacations in your own communities, outside of Israel, or in the forests and deserts of Israel.

Dear Reb Uri,

Thank you for writing your heartfelt post. Even though I don’t know you personally, I can feel from your words that you truly have Ahavas Yisrael and a deep love for all Jews. You’re in real pain, and that sincerity comes through. I want to respond—not to argue, but to help provide some answers and context to what you wrote, because I think some of your feelings come from misunderstandings or things that need clarification.

Let’s break this down into a few parts:

Simcha in a Time of Pain

First, you raised the point of seeing Charedim on vacation while your community is suffering from terrible losses. I want to stress something important: no one in Israel is living as if nothing happened. Every Jew in this country—Charedi, Dati Leumi, secular—is deeply pained by what we’ve gone through since October 7th. In Charedi shuls, we still say Tehillim after every tefillah for the hostages, for the wounded, and for all of Klal Yisrael. Every announcement of another Jew killed in Kiddush Hashem is felt in our hearts.

At the same time, if you look at Israel in general, life does go on. Cafés in Tel Aviv are packed, hotels are full, beaches are crowded, vacation spots are busy, and many people are traveling abroad. Secular, Dati Leumi, and Charedim alike are all taking vacations and enjoying family time.

So when you say it pains you to see Charedim on vacation—it feels like we’re being singled out. Why is it specifically the sight of a Charedi family barbecuing that hurts more than seeing a packed café in Haifa on Tisha B’Av, or people going to the beach on a national day of mourning? Does that pain you the same way? Or is it mainly when you see Chareidim smiling that it strikes you?

Why We’re Still Here

You wrote that it feels wrong to see Charedim “not playing their part.” But let’s think about it: in Nisan we had an open miracle—missiles from Iran that should have devastated Israel, and not one Jew was killed. Why do you think Hashem did that? Was it in the merit of people eating treif in Tel Aviv? Was it in the merit of hatred and division splashed across the media? Or was it in the merit of Torah and tefillah?

The Torah is clear: Torah is our protection. We’re not here in Eretz Yisrael because of an army, or a government, or a UN mandate. We are here only because Hashem gave us this land, and the zechus to hold onto it comes from His Torah. Far from being “despite” the Charedim, the miracles and survival of Klal Yisrael are because of the Charedim who sit and learn.

More on this here: https://www.charedim.com/how-does-torah-learning-protect-klal-yisrael/

Standing Up for Each Other

You wrote about Ahavas Yisrael. I want to ask you honestly: when the Charedi community is under unprecedented attack—vilified daily in the media, threatened with jail, mocked in cartoons and politics—do you stand up for us? Do you say, “Even if I don’t agree with them, they have a mesorah going back thousands of years, and they deserve respect”?

Because if you don’t, then something is missing in the equation of Ahavas Yisrael. It can’t just mean that Charedim should sit quietly, never smile, never go on vacation, while being attacked from every side. If you want us to understand your pain—and we do—you also have to try to understand ours.

Moving Forward Together

Uri, we’re not your rival. We love every Jew. We want to build bridges, not walls. I understand where you’re coming from, even if I think your conclusion is misplaced. But you also need to try to understand where we are coming from—our history, our mesorah, our understanding that Torah is what keeps Am Yisrael alive. Especially in these days before Moshiach, we need more unity, not more division.

I hope that you and your community will continue to welcome us in Mitzpe Yericho and beyond. We’re all one family, even when we disagree. And I pray that together, with respect for each other’s paths, we can strengthen the bonds of Am Echad b’Lev Echad.

With love and clarity,
Charedim.com

P.S. One of the reasons we created Charedim.com was exactly for moments like this—to build bridges, foster understanding, and answer the kinds of heartfelt questions and concerns you raised. We’ve already addressed many of these topics there, and we’re continuing to publish more every week. I’d be honored if you took a look—you may find it helpful in understanding where we’re coming from, and it might even spark more of the dialogue we both want to see.